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Ever heard of arousal step-down techniques?
How about the PC muscle and Kegels?
If you're like most guys, you probably haven't. And as such, most men - unaware of the numerous ways they can boost their sexual skill and 'lasting' power - regularly produce mediocre performances in bed, leaving themselves disappointed and the women they're with disillusioned and usually orgasmless. It's a real shame.
In a poll, 93% of men asked, said they'd like to last longer in bed before ejaculating - but 100% of those men were unaware of how they could achieve such a seemingly impossible feat.
The truth is, it's not impossible (or even difficult) to maximise your sexual performance and attain complete control over how long you boogie for and generally get on down with the ladies.
So, let's take a look at one sexual method that'll allow you massive control over your arousal levels and always give you the choice of when to cum or when to continue.
During sex, most men begin to lose control of themselves (in terms of ejaculation!) at around the 2 or 3 minute mark - which is usually midway through the first sexual position. And what a letdown ejaculating at this point would be! So, that's usually the first point at which you'll use this technique. It involves two steps. The first takes place in your mind - which is the root of many a male's sexual performance troubles.
1. When you first feel those telltale sensations in your penis (the heightened sensitivity and energy that let you know that if you carry on doing what you're doing you'll soon explode) don't panic! Too many men are pushed over the edge, right to ejaculation, because they mentally begin to panic when they feel they're close to orgasm. Panic phrases rush through their heads, like: "Uh oh, I'm gonna blow!" and "Not again, this is going to be embarrassing." Instead of letting these counter-productive thoughts fill your mind and quicken the onset of orgasm, instead calmly say in your head: "Okay, I'm close to ejaculating. Time to use an arousal step-down technique." Then move onto step number two.
2. The most sensitive part of your penis is the top of the shaft and especially the head. To decrease its stimulation (without stopping the 'action') slowly and deeply thrust into your partner, as far as you can go and she can pleasurably take.
Then, gently grind your hips, wiggling your pubic bone (the hard area above your penis, about 8 inches down from your belly button) on her vagina. To her, this seems and feels like a wonderful stroke variation, which gives her external clitoral stimulation (the number one way to make any woman orgasm).
However, behind the scenes, it's momentarily decreasing your stimulation, enabling you to last longer. This happens because when you plunge deep into her, your penis enters a wider area of her vagina, which lessens its contact and stimulation.
Then, to cap it off, you grind and wiggle, instead of thrusting in and out, which further decreases the intense sensations of sex. After 30 seconds or so, your arousal levels will have dropped enough for you to restart your thrusting.
By using this technique, you're able to control your urge to pop without stopping sex and while giving your partner extra sexual stimulation. Now how much better a technique is that for tackling premature ejaculation when compared to what most people consider to be effective techniques? Things like: "Count backward from 100" and "Think of dead puppies!"
Sex, as you well know, is all about fun. Using the 2-step technique above, you can fully enjoy the experience - without the worry of it all being over too soon!
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If you are reading this, and fit the situation, then the subject is already a consideration on your mind.
You may have read something on the subject, spoken to a girlfriend who has passed through the experience recently, and heard about it in school. We hope to help you here, with a short guide. It is for you.
First of all, you must feel it is the correct thing to do. You must NOT be pressured into it, or the experience will fail to bring you the pleasure and good memories you expect and deserve. You are in charge of your life and body. You must really feel ready for it.
If you have been masturbating, you probably had clitoral orgasm, so you know what is possible in terms of feelings. You must also, know your own anatomy.
You know you have some outer lips that cover the vulva, and some inner lips which are very flexible. If your hymen is intact, you are also going to tear that, with the accompanying sensations and bleeding. Find out.
In the second consideration, do not have sex if you have over-drunk alcohol. You can become drunk and lose a great deal of your judgment after even one drink.
The third consideration is INSISTING on the use of a condom with your partner. The reasons for this are well known, and certainly there is no excuse for not using it. You must be protected. This is a health concern, a very good way to prevent conception, and generally a good idea as it will help to slow down your partner by desensitizing him a bit.
So to begin.
You cannot have too much foreplay. This should take the form of mutual kissing, erotic massaging, exploring each other’s bodies, seeing where each of you are sensitive and have erogenous spots. Don’t rush. It will be over soon enough as it is.
All the while as you have foreplay, your womb will be producing the all important moisture that is required. Believe us, the wetter the better. You cannot be too wet for the first time. If you are a bit adventurous, ask you partner to give you cunnilingus, and if you can, give to your partner some fellatio. These are wonderful signs of showing affection.
Getting into it.
Make sure after your foreplay (and perhaps fellatio) put on the condom if you haven’t already. The partner may make the first move to go directly into the standard missionary position. Bad idea. It is the worst position to lose your virginity. You are not in control, and it will be more painful and you cannot do anything but lay there and take it. Instead, try the girl on top position. Here you are in control. Your vagina has never had anything in it before (like a penis) and it must accommodate it slowly…and it will.
If you are losing you hymen, you are the one determining the speed and pressure with which it occurs. You will not suffer, and if you are still not wet enough, you can apply some water-based vaginal lubricant (such as K-Y). The deed is soon done, and you can get down to thrusting.
At first, have your partner move without thrusting, just applying pressure while fully inserted in your vagina. As it begins to feel natural, you can your self start thrusting.
At this point you can change positions (assuming your partner has lasted) and go onto your back. However, do not settle for the simple missionary position, but tilt your pelvis slightly up, and ask your partner to suspend himself on his arms and not lay on you…this when thrusting will stimulate both your clitoris and G-spot.
There are a lot of variables here, but lose you virginity as we suggest, and you will have in your mind pleasant memories instead of feeling unfilled, or used.
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Six stories, six fates, six ways to show us… Fallen idols.
The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber by Hemingway is pretty ironical. The main character rich Mr. Macomber has everything he needs to have – money, handsomeness, beautiful wife, the status in the society. But he’s not happy. Is it true that due to the high status in the society he tends to gain all of the things he does not need in general. If he’s just a normal person, having wealth would make him confident and calm. What’s that Francis lack that makes his life just a spectacle? Being in state of fear of loosing all of his wealth forms his not self-confident. Francis does not believe in himself and vain killing of a lion becomes a push for the further actions – wife’s reproaches and as a result – overestimating of the values. And finding the way out of fear, Mr. Macomber stops to be afraid – afraid of his wife, wild animals. He finds that power of universe is inside of him, he trusts himself, listening to inner voice. And exactly at the moment when his life changed, he’s killed. Is it always in this way so when a person finally finds the way of being happy, he dies.
Let’s look at Miss Lonelyhearts by Nathaniel West. The author purposely does not make us aware of the main character’s name. Miss Lonelyhearts – it’s not just the nickname of the man, it becomes his name as a preist, as St. Paul for example. So, a young man writes the advice column in a newspaper. In the beginning of his work, he does not really take it seriously but like a job-joke. Later he realizes that his correspondents take him seriously. And becoming a speaker of the moral values just like Christ at his time, he stops seeing his job as a joke but himself as a victim of someone’s joke. He’s forced to examine the values by which he lives (as he himself told). He’s not gay anymore, he becomes sick. Miss Lonelyhearts tries to find the root of happiness being a perfectionist. But is he on the right way? He’s violent (remember the first dialogue with a woman loved him), he’s indifferent to other’s feelings (comes to Shrike’s wife when hiss boss at home). Gaining the Chirst complex he knows that standard answers don’t work. But what’s then? If he’d believed in Christ it would be clear what’s wrong and what’s right however he complicates himself. And finally finding the unity with the source of joy, God; finding the way out, Miss Lonelyhearts is killed. And all of this happens while people stop going to church looking for an advice. People go to the psychologists, watch the TV shows or right to Miss Lonelyhearts. And church becomes a place where money is made. Art replaces religion as the way to find, to experience the sublime. That’s what Miss Lonelyhearts’ boss Mr. Shrike preach to the author. Oh, humanity…
Soldier’s Home by Hemingway tells us about a soldier returned home from the war. Isn’t the home a place where a person feels not lonely? Just in the word “home” we see the comfort, care and love. People believe in home like in a place where you’re you. But look at Kerbs ( a man without name). Look at him! He returned from the place where not everyone returns – from the war… and the highest appreciation from parents’ side is allowing riding a car. Just imagine – a boy carried in his own hands weapons, seen death is now allowed to take dad’s car. The belief in waiting-all-the-time mother stays but what stands for that carrying and waiting? Was it the care about the life of own son? No-o-o. Religious mother thinks whether her son has sexual relationships with free European girls. She’s calm while she knows that her boy fits the role she wrote for him all of his life. And Kerbs is alien. His belief was twisted by the strong stress – going for war. But still being a boy, he’s looking not for an advice, further direction for living – he wants peace and comfort in his life.
In God Rest You Merry Gentlemen written by Hemingway we meet literal treating of Bible by a young man come to the clinics. There’s be a boy asking for the amputation of his penis just because being a young he could not stay impassionate for women’ bodies. Taking the rule of Christ about cutting a hand if it sins he does not understand that it is not the hand (or whatever it may be) that sins. The mind is so powerful that the thoughts take the physical form. And if a person does not like it, he should change his thoughts, as only they affect the matter. Story The Gambler, The Nun, and the Radio by Hemingway is about the artist who observes of the society, not being agree with it norms, points out the problems through his works of art. The main character is in clinics and he’s thinks about “opium of people”. Of course, thinking in his way, everything can be counted as opium. Why are his thoughts full of depressive notes? Because his physical sickness comes to the mental one, and being separate from the source of being, from the harmonious state of joy, he’s in pain.
Great Gatsby is beautiful, rich a sad story. Mr. Gatsby is a young successful handsome wealthy man lived in New York. He’s so wealthy that it allows him to make parties with high-society people. Being everything, he’s nothing – he’s Mr. Nobody from Nowhere. In past poor boy goes to the war and later comes back becoming bootlegger. Reading further we understand that his status is false – he’s even living in West Egg – a place of “easy money”. Being a watcher not an observer, Gatsby draws the picture taken from the past. Like a great successful producer he makes up amazing stage (his rich house next to Nick’s one), decorations (interior with its library and real uncut books), actors (the not-known guests during the splendid parties). Even script is written – a story taken from the past. The script is perfectly corrected – absence of Gatsby’s poor youth results in avoiding parents not fitting in the story (we meet the father only in the end), false Oxford education, cutting own past five years, aiming for the happiness in the future. And the audience, which as Gatsby thinks ought to complete the harmony, in the face of Daisy ruins the perfect façade. Or does he think he can stop time and turn the clock back? Anyway the play fails, the world created from the past forms pain. Gatsby is killed, Daisy left. Empty stage. I enjoyed reading the stories analyzed above. I read six stories and lived those six lives. Honestly, did not really understand The Gambler…Anyway The self-Reliance by Emerson is seen as a good example of finding the way out and staying alive meanwhile. Emerson proves that living in truth with yourself brings happiness. And it’s indeed so. At the time when Emerson strictly points at that, Hemingway, West, Fitzgerald give birth to the characters who are like us, live and want to live happily. All of them failed just because they believed in the outer criteria of joy, they did not realize (not all of them) that the only source of hope and belief is they are themselves.
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Human beings are the most superior creature on this planet with immense control over body and mind which helps to achieve fulfillment against all odds; but everything in life comes with its share of adversity. Just like the condition of erectile dysfunction, prevalent in millions of men over the world which is enough to take many successful men and their relationships to the dock. For years, men suffered in silence as they were too embarrassed to speak about their sexual incompetence and also feared rejection by their partners.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) commonly termed impotence is in all aspect a medical condition when a man is unable to achieve or sustain an erection necessary for a sexual act pertaining to his sexual needs or the needs of his partner and has to be treated like any other disease, erectile dysfunction is the sexual inability in a man prevalent consistently over a prolonged period of time and has nothing to do with momentary fluctuations in sexual activity. This is caused mainly due to the hardening of arteries, called arteriosclerosis where narrower hardened arteries prevent the flow of blood to the penis, even on stimulation. There are also several psychological and lifestyle conditions responsible for erectile dysfunction. Latest studies have revealed that erectile dysfunction is not age-related and it can be treated at any age. Researchers over the world have been trying on various methods for treating impotence but the most successful and popular amongst them is the oral medication Viagra.
For years, men suffering from ED continued their trial against destiny and had to rely only on their sexual fantasy. While a group of researchers aided by the pharmaceutical giant Pfizer Inc. New York developed the first oral drug for the treatment of erectile dysfunction. This pioneer drug was named viagra and was approved by the FDA in March, 1998. Since then Viagra has been successfully retrieving back the sexual bliss in many dismantled relationships. This power in Viagra is due to its magical active component, Sildenafil citrate. This ingredient helps in the relaxation of the arteries which thereby improve the flow of blood to the penis on stimulation, thus facilitating an erection. Viagra taken an hour prior to a sexual activity guarantees absolute pleasure and hold true your sexual fantasies for the next 4 hours.
Pfizer has been no less than a savior to the many ED affected men, but anyone contemplating the use of Viagra is advised to consult a doctor before using it considering factors like drug interaction and the health factor for an active sex. Moreover, Viagra online information provides adequate support on latest studies, expert consultations and online buying guide with the click of a mouse. It is indeed the well wishes of many privileged men whose lives are being rejuvenated by Viagra that is behind the success story of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals.
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"Masturbation ... is not approved of the Lord nor this church, regardless of what may be said by those whose 'norms' are lower", President Kimball of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (1981)
"Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate." Monty Python's The Meaning of Life.
A quote often used by various churches in an effort to contain illicit acts amongst its people. Every sermon on masturbation would quote it, atleast all the sermons I have heard. Under the circumstances, is it difficult to imagine masturbation as one of the biggest taboos in our society? Even today? Scientific education has done a little to change it. Does that mean men and women don't masturbate? Certainly not. 99% of men and 70% of women masturbate according to various studies. The problem lies in the acceptance of the fact that you masturbate. Let me tell you a story... a story about you.
One night you were sitting alone in your appartment eating pizza. You decided to check out some new sites on the net while you eat. So you log on to your ISP and start surfing. Inadverantely, you come across some piece of pornography(yes, the net is quite full of it!) Looking at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingling between your legs. One thing leads to another and you end up spoiling your underpants. Now let me tell you another story.
One night you were sitting alone in a bar drinking beer. And then a most gorgeous person enters the bar. The person that causes tingling between your legs just looking at him or her. You decide that you can't let go of this oppurtunity to get to know this wonderful creation of god. So you move towards this person and start small talk. One thing leads to another and you end up in your appartment.
Whether you are a woman or a man, the next morning you wouldn't be jumping with joy in the first case. When you go out in the evening to meet your friends, you would not tell them about the hot site you found and how you jerked off to it. Nevertheless, in the second case, you would be telling anyone who cared to listen how you had the most wonderful experience of your life last night. Why? Well, maybe because self pleasure is, well, nothing special. You can do it anytime you want. Ofcourse seducing the person of your dreams is quite an accomplishment. No wonder you need an audience. But what if you have a friend like me. A friend who is crazy enough to ask you did you wank off yesterday night? Was it good? What would you do then? Would you tell your friend about the hot site and your experience? Would you simply say, "Yeah! It was great! What about you?" Or would you pretend nothing had happened and lie... something like you were somewhere else yesterday night, or maybe lead your friend to believe you got lucky with someone?
I am guessing you would do the latter. Most certainly you won't acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you would evade the question and change the topic. And when your friend tells you about a hot conquest the same night, you would wish you had a bowl of water in which you could drown. Shame and guilt would come over you and you would change the topic in double quick time. Are you crazy? Noway! You are just one of the majority. And quite a majority at that! Way more majority that what George Bush had in the last elections! The reason - social conditioning!
You are just like the boy who ran out of the cinema hall that was screening an adult film (mind you, he had no business of being there in the first place! But all the cinemas care about is the sale of their tickets!)
Later in the day, the friend who had been at the movies with him, caught up with him and asked, "Why in the hell's name did you run out?" The boy answered, "My mom said that if I watched a woman getting naked I would turn to stone. And damn you Harry, a part of me was already turning into stone!"
Unluckily, the social conditioning is wrong. It is as wrong as the social condition in 18-19th century India, where widows were forced to burn alive with their husbands. As wrong as the church was in burning Galileo for implying the Earth was not the centre of the universe. Lily Tomlin put it best, "We have reasons to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation!" If god didn't want us to masturbate, maybe we would still be walking like dogs and horses!
The social conditioning is a result of numerous myths, lies and scams perperated by numerous individuals for personal benefit. Unfortunately, this conditioning is like a hard nut, very tough to crack. However, with effort and chanelising your energies, you can break it. Remember, the nuts that crack the hardest, are often the ones that taste the best! You must be wondering, how the hell does it matter if you feel guilty about masturbation. Why should you spend time breaking this casing?
Certain psychologists believe that guilt conscious, whether sexual guilt or in any other form, is the most destructive element for your mental health. Others believe it is one of the most destructive. But the greatest effect of guilt conscious in my experience has been a lack of confidence in self. Now you are an intelligent reader. I don't need to explain you the importance of self confidence. Be it your career, relationships or any other aspect of life, lack of confidence can bring your downfall. Now I am not implying that should you start to feel more comfortable about masturbation, you would succeed in all aspects of life. But it would be a nice step to take. An useless guilt that should, and can be eradicated from your mind. Remember, an ocean is made of small droplets of water. Get rid of a drop at a time and in due time, the ocean would be empty! Ofcourse it would take several millenia! Luckily, you don't have an ocean full of guily! Just some naggings here and there!
The first step towards eradication of this guilt is knowledge. There are thousands of myths around masturbation. Most of them perperated by religion, unfortunately. But some perperated by scam runners. Lets take a look at the most important ones.
1. Masturbation is against the will of god.
Bullshit. At one point the church considered anyone who was overtly passionate to his wife an adultrater. Follow that teaching and your wife would be committing adultery! Several clergymen have gone on record to say that not only the church's teachings about sexuality were unrelated to the scriptures, but that they caused more harm than good amongst people. Besides, nowhere in the religious teachings of any major religions is masturbation considered wrong.
2. Masturbation will cause impotency.
Most males and even some females seem to think so. Wrong again. Lets tackle the males first. It is understandable that seeing their sperm flow out of their body, they think it may end sometime. Well, it will end one day... maybe when you are 100 years old. But until then don't worry. Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. You have unlimited credit here! Sperm is a completely renewable resource, renewable on an hourly basis! For women, well, there is no basis in the theory. Probably perperated by old ladies who never had an orgasm in their entire life!
3. Masturbation causes acnes, hair loss, skin diseases.
This one is my favorite. Mainly because it is one of the better scams of all times! Your social conditioning would have you believe that masturbation is bad for your health. But bad how? No one would give you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists saw this as an good oppurtunity to sell their products like hair growth lotions, etc. Since most people start masturbating during their teens, (the times of acne and other skin problems), they would have you believe that this is caused by masturbation! Unluckily for them, this is as untrue as the sun rising from the west! Masturbation has no physical side effects!
4. Masturbating will make you thin and skinny!
Then there would be no need for diet pills and fitness regimes my friend! And most certainly 70% of USA wouldn't be overweight!
5. Only Kids masturbate!
Why would you say that? I wonder! Well quite untrue, most adults masturbate... yup even after marriage!
6. Masturbation is for males.
And it is for 70% of the women too. Thats right, two thirds of all females masturbate!
7. Only losers masturbate!
Another of my favorites. Just goes to show just how much of a taboo is masturbation! First thing, 99% of males and 70% of females have masturbated atleast once in their lives. Now that is a hell of a lot of losers don't you think! Nothing more that I can add really... this is really the epitome of insecurity amongst people regarding self pleasure.
8. Masturbation is for homosexuals.
Wow. Where did that one originate! Someone must make a etymology of these myths, would make for an interesting read! Just as untrue as all these myths, masturbation and homosexuality have nothing in common. Some people masturbate to their fantasies of opposite sex, others to their fantasies of same sex. Thats it.
9. Masturbation will make you blind!
Others claim that masturbation is bad for your eyesights. However, their claims are unsupported by facts and medical advice. I suggest you talk to your general physician and he will explain you what a load of bull this is.
10. Masturbation changes the shape of your penis
Well, it does make it rock hard. But believe me, once you orgasm, the hardness is gone! So no. Masturbation has absolutely no effect on how your penis looks.
There are loads more of these myths circulating around the world. If you have a query about masturbation, ask me, I would happily lay your fears to rest. My email is advice@pornographytimes.com
Now lets move on in an attempt to get rid of your guilt. Clearly, all the reasons that made masturbation such a taboo are baseless. So why should you feel guilty about something that is normal and actually healthy? Healthy? Yes that too! This January, I recieved an email from a woman who had some major problems in her marriage. Due to her career and that of her husband, their sexual life was inexistant. Both held jobs in big MNCs and were frequently out of town. Sometimes, they would see each other once a month! Nevertheless, they were very much in love. Her problem was, that inspite of all their love, they were getting into petty fights with each other. The woman was even experiencing problems during work, getting angry for no apparent reasons, shouting on her team. Her temperament was a creation of the stress caused by extensive work and lack of pleasurable activities. Add to that sexual frustration.
My advice to her was twofold. First, I told her that she would have to slow down, and so should her husband. They must make time for their hobbies, maybe try and get in some physical exercise when they could. Most certainly, they needed to see more of each other. They should onsider talking off a couple of days and just be together. Second, while she was alone, she should consider fantasy therapy. Namely, reading erotic novels, watching erotic movies... exciting herself and eventually masturbating as regularly as she could. Three months later, I recieved a thank you letter from her. Apparently she had put my advice to practice (which is quite rare!) and it had actually helped. (Which is not so rare!)
How did masturbating help her? Because most of her problems arose from stress and lack of physical activities. And masturbation, like sex, is the perfect medicing. When you orgasm, your mind gets cleared of the regular day to day problems. Your body gets excited and the blood flow increases. Sometimes, you even sweat! A complete and perfect exercise for those with lack of time!
The next step in getting rid of your guilt is self belief. Something, no outsider can help you with. Here is what I would counsel. Read as many articles on the internet as you can relating to masturbation. Just so that you know that I am not bullshitting you. Any queries you have, don't be afraid to ask me or another sex advisor on any of the reputed websites. Remember, the first step is knowledge and the second step is belief. And knowledge leads to belief. Good Wanking!
